Your highs and lows recently
Recently things have been exactly that, high and low.
Honestly these are not even really because of anything its just because I feel bad or feel good.
Lows, sometimes I just feel like shit. Not physically but mentally and I am here now embracing feeling and emotions. My lows are when I am lonely or upset. Not when I make messes. My highs are reaching goals and being happy.
Friday, April 14, 2017
Monday, April 10, 2017
Day 30
Goals for the next 30 days
Very good pick for today seeing as I am preparing to whoop ass on the next 30 days.
GOALS
-Don't eat extra calories.
-Lose about 4 lbs in the 30 days
-FINISH THE SEMESTER WITH A FEW A's
-Be cute and approachable
-Don't give af
Goals not todo list.
Very good pick for today seeing as I am preparing to whoop ass on the next 30 days.
GOALS
-Don't eat extra calories.
-Lose about 4 lbs in the 30 days
-FINISH THE SEMESTER WITH A FEW A's
-Be cute and approachable
-Don't give af
Goals not todo list.
Saturday, April 1, 2017
Day 29
Something that you miss
Something I miss, I miss so many things.
-I miss being blissfully happy constantly
-I miss being able to trust others
-I miss my siblings and parents being around every single day
-I miss being on a sports team
-I miss not having to worry about everything every second of every day
-I miss being naive
-I miss all my past friends and bestfriends
-I miss my shitty high school jobs
-I miss my grandpas mind.
Something I miss, I miss so many things.
-I miss being blissfully happy constantly
-I miss being able to trust others
-I miss my siblings and parents being around every single day
-I miss being on a sports team
-I miss not having to worry about everything every second of every day
-I miss being naive
-I miss all my past friends and bestfriends
-I miss my shitty high school jobs
-I miss my grandpas mind.
Day 28
A problem that you have had
To note, I have had many problems. But if we are narrowing them down to just one problem I think it will be my problem with feeling left out and unwelcome all the time.
When people that I like do things without me I feel sad that I can't be there or I don't go because I feel unwelcome. It is probably just a lack of confidence and a bonus of social anxiety. That's my problem and I have yet to figure out how to solve it.
To note, I have had many problems. But if we are narrowing them down to just one problem I think it will be my problem with feeling left out and unwelcome all the time.
When people that I like do things without me I feel sad that I can't be there or I don't go because I feel unwelcome. It is probably just a lack of confidence and a bonus of social anxiety. That's my problem and I have yet to figure out how to solve it.
Monday, March 27, 2017
Day 27
How can you make yourself better
I could be skinnier, prettier, less bitchy, more sociable, less crazy, friendlier, more accepting. I could care more, be less of a stress case, not have relationship problems, not get jealous, go with the flow better, have more confidence.
Honestly there are a million and twelve things that I could make me better but that really should not be the focus. I always have spent a lot of time trying to lose weight or look better or just better myself that I forget that I am supposed to be living not preparing for future living. Why would we ask ourselves these questions when it is just creating more things for us to do and worry about. Why can we not just accept ourselves as who we are and roll with that.
I could be skinnier, prettier, less bitchy, more sociable, less crazy, friendlier, more accepting. I could care more, be less of a stress case, not have relationship problems, not get jealous, go with the flow better, have more confidence.
Honestly there are a million and twelve things that I could make me better but that really should not be the focus. I always have spent a lot of time trying to lose weight or look better or just better myself that I forget that I am supposed to be living not preparing for future living. Why would we ask ourselves these questions when it is just creating more things for us to do and worry about. Why can we not just accept ourselves as who we are and roll with that.
Thursday, March 23, 2017
Day 26
26- Something that you are trying to figure out or dont yet understand
I always thought you were supposed to be there for others, unconditionally. That there are people that you care about and no matter what the situation you are there to pick up their broken pieces. I thought you were supposed to care about people, and love people, and be open with them.
What confuses me is why we aren't like that. There are people that I feel that way about but they just don't want it. They don't want to need my help.
I guess what I dont understand yet is how to stop caring about someone. How to forget about them. Nobody would really know it because I have a wall of steel when it comes to sharing my emotions. But I accidentally give a shit about the wrong people.
I actually am just trying to figure everything out and I do not understand anything yet. I am naive and out of the loop of life. I don't understand people, or social situations. Like I make it by but they are just so dumb and out of my control. I don't understand the games, and I still play them. I don't even know if I will figure any of this out either.
I always thought you were supposed to be there for others, unconditionally. That there are people that you care about and no matter what the situation you are there to pick up their broken pieces. I thought you were supposed to care about people, and love people, and be open with them.
What confuses me is why we aren't like that. There are people that I feel that way about but they just don't want it. They don't want to need my help.
I guess what I dont understand yet is how to stop caring about someone. How to forget about them. Nobody would really know it because I have a wall of steel when it comes to sharing my emotions. But I accidentally give a shit about the wrong people.
I actually am just trying to figure everything out and I do not understand anything yet. I am naive and out of the loop of life. I don't understand people, or social situations. Like I make it by but they are just so dumb and out of my control. I don't understand the games, and I still play them. I don't even know if I will figure any of this out either.
Monday, March 20, 2017
Day 25
Someone who fascinates you and why
Someone who fascinates me. To be straight up, which I frequently am, especially when nobody is reading, everyone fascinates me.
But SAV that is so general. Shush.
I say everyone because I currently do not have my eyes on anyone, I am not that close to anyone that I do not know that well, and it is the people who are not like me that fascinate me the most. I love to watch people, and learn about them, read them. Apparently that was taught to me, or maybe it was a skill I gained by osmosis or something. Thinking about what other people are thinking about, what makes them do the things they do and what makes them the way they are. Many times have I considered taking psychology classes because sometimes I am just so curious of what makes humans do stuff. When people screw me over or fuck with me, I usually am not mad at them I just wonder what in the world could have made them do that or think that is okay.
So many people were raised differently than me and think in completely different ways than me and have been through so many different things that me. I just want to talk to someone and get to know them and learn about them and be with them. Right now though, I have nothing. I am not searching. The best ones just come to you, the most fascinating will find me.
Someone who fascinates me. To be straight up, which I frequently am, especially when nobody is reading, everyone fascinates me.
But SAV that is so general. Shush.
I say everyone because I currently do not have my eyes on anyone, I am not that close to anyone that I do not know that well, and it is the people who are not like me that fascinate me the most. I love to watch people, and learn about them, read them. Apparently that was taught to me, or maybe it was a skill I gained by osmosis or something. Thinking about what other people are thinking about, what makes them do the things they do and what makes them the way they are. Many times have I considered taking psychology classes because sometimes I am just so curious of what makes humans do stuff. When people screw me over or fuck with me, I usually am not mad at them I just wonder what in the world could have made them do that or think that is okay.
So many people were raised differently than me and think in completely different ways than me and have been through so many different things that me. I just want to talk to someone and get to know them and learn about them and be with them. Right now though, I have nothing. I am not searching. The best ones just come to you, the most fascinating will find me.
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