Day 31

Your highs and lows recently

Recently things have been exactly that, high and low.
Honestly these are not even really because of anything its just because I feel bad or feel good.
Lows, sometimes I just feel like shit. Not physically but mentally and I am here now embracing feeling and emotions. My lows are when I am lonely or upset. Not when I make messes. My highs are reaching goals and being happy.

Day 30

Goals for the next 30 days

Very good pick for today seeing as I am preparing to whoop ass on the next 30 days.

GOALS
-Don't eat extra calories.
-Lose about 4 lbs in the 30 days 
-FINISH THE SEMESTER WITH A FEW A's
-Be cute and approachable
-Don't give af

Goals not todo list.

Day 29

Something that you miss

Something I miss, I miss so many things.
-I miss being blissfully happy constantly
-I miss being able to trust others
-I miss my siblings and parents being around every single day
-I miss being on a sports team
-I miss not having to worry about everything every second of every day
-I miss being naive
-I miss all my past friends and bestfriends
-I miss my shitty high school jobs
-I miss my grandpas mind.

Day 28

A problem that you have had

To note, I have had many problems. But if we are narrowing them down to just one problem I think it will be my problem with feeling left out and unwelcome all the time.
When people that I like do things without me I feel sad that I can't be there or I don't go because I feel unwelcome. It is probably just a lack of confidence and a bonus of social anxiety. That's my problem and I have yet to figure out how to solve it.

Day 27

How can you make yourself better

I could be skinnier, prettier, less bitchy, more sociable, less crazy, friendlier, more accepting. I could care more, be less of a stress case, not have relationship problems, not get jealous, go with the flow better, have more confidence.
Honestly there are a million and twelve things that I could make me better but that really should not be the focus. I always have spent a lot of time trying to lose weight or look better or just better myself that I forget that I am supposed to be living not preparing for future living. Why would we ask ourselves these questions when it is just creating more things for us to do and worry about. Why can we not just accept ourselves as who we are and roll with that.

Day 26

26- Something that you are trying to figure out or dont yet understand

I always thought you were supposed to be there for others, unconditionally. That there are people that you care about and no matter what the situation you are there to pick up their broken pieces. I thought you were supposed to care about people, and love people, and be open with them.
What confuses me is why we aren't like that. There are people that I feel that way about but they just don't want it. They don't want to need my help.
I guess what I dont understand yet is how to stop caring about someone. How to forget about them. Nobody would really know it because I have a wall of steel when it comes to sharing my emotions. But I accidentally give a shit about the wrong people.

I actually am just trying to figure everything out and I do not understand anything yet. I am naive and out of the loop of life. I don't understand people, or social situations. Like I make it by but they are just so dumb and out of my control. I don't understand the games, and I still play them. I don't even know if I will figure any of this out either.

Day 25

Someone who fascinates you and why


Someone who fascinates me. To be straight up, which I frequently am, especially when nobody is reading, everyone fascinates me.

But SAV that is so general. Shush.

I say everyone because I currently do not have my eyes on anyone, I am not that close to anyone that I do not know that well, and it is the people who are not like me that fascinate me the most. I love to watch people, and learn about them, read them. Apparently that was taught to me, or maybe it was a skill I gained by osmosis or something. Thinking about what other people are thinking about, what makes them do the things they do and what makes them the way they are. Many times have I considered taking psychology classes because sometimes I am just so curious of what makes humans do stuff. When people screw me over or fuck with me, I usually am not mad at them I just wonder what in the world could have made them do that or think that is okay.
So many people were raised differently than me and think in completely different ways than me and have been through so many different things that me. I just want to talk to someone and get to know them and learn about them and be with them. Right now though, I have nothing. I am not searching. The best ones just come to you, the most fascinating will find me.

Day 23

How have you changed in the past 2 years

I think I have changed immensely in the past two years, probably the most I have ever changed personality wise and figuring out myself wise. I do not think it was really all the best changes I have made but they all have an effect so I accept it and regret nothing.

 2 years ago I was concluding my freshman year of college, where I was naive and a child to say the least. I still made the best decisions and I was completely stress free while thinking I was stressed. Now I know so many more adult things and make stupid choice while still weighing the consequences. Back then I still believed in a good in people and still believed in trust and if we are being extremely honest I don't know if I believe that as much anymore.
I think my mental health has definitely changed from when I was a freshman, I have struggled and am really trying to work on that because I have not been worried about myself. I almost think I am more self aware.

------


Even from the last time I have wrote this I have changed. I feel like I keep growing and changing every second into who I am supposed to be and more importantly who I want to be.
I am slowly learning about myself and recently may have uncovered something that may explain alot about me. I am not prepared to share that with anyone, but it had completely changed my mindset and I feel very different about things.
Everyone changes every second so I am sick of people saying anything along the lines of "you've changed" BECAUSE YES I DID AND SO DID YOU. Every single thing that happens to someone effects them. No matter how numb or in denial you are about it.

Day 24

Your favorite movie and what it's about

My favorite movie is Perks (The Perks of Being a Wallflower)

It is about a boy named Charlie, who is a lovely form of crazy. This movie makes you feel with him very hard. It is about his high school journey dealing with friendships, relationships, school, family and writing. He meets the group of friends that I wish I would have had. They introduce him to new things but are also there for him. It is just unfortunate that he is a freshman and they are all seniors. I have been there. He deals with mental illness, as well as the weight of some past hardships which make his journey a little bumpy, but then again whose road doesnt have a few potholes. 

I am currently reading the book for the first time and it is just as good. I feel that the movie did a great job so far but also the book is bringing a little more insight that makes it a new story again to me.

The first time I watched this movie I didn't even watch it, it was just something that was playing in the background, which makes me laugh at what I was missing. Had I watched it then would I have liked it less. Would I associate it with something different. It really set off a friend of mine but I think he really felt for it and that didn't change my love for the movie.

Day 22

Give pictures of 5 famous people you find attractive

1) Ryan Gosling

2) Logan Lerman

3) Adam Levine

4) Ryan Reynolds & Blake Lively

5) The Hemsworth Brothers

Day 21

One of your favorite shows

I am not really one to watch TV anymore, I don't even actually have cable. I think we have like three channels at my house. But I am for the time being on my friends Netflix account which lets me binge watch some interesting stuff when I happen to have a free second.

I don't really have a favorite show either, I just get really into them while I am watching them and will completely give up everything else to watch it.

One of the first shows I kept up with was Degrassi, and still watch it today (now on Netflix)
I was super into Pretty Little Liars for a while there but now am at the point where it just needs to end.
Breaking Bad, very good as well as Sons of Anarchy.
Just finished One Tree Hill and was ridiculously obsessed.

Occasionally will watch Friends, and Big Bang Theory reruns. But that is about all  the shows I even know of.

Day 20

Your beliefs.

I don't care what this question really means because honestly I don't have a clue the answer.

I believe that things will turn out okay. These are my naive beliefs, that if I do all the things I am expected to do, such as: graduate from college, not get knocked up or arrested before then, have a job, and not be a jerkhead to important people, then I BELIEVE I will get a job that I want and get to work there an




will finish later

Day 18

Disrespecting your parents

Is extremely unacceptable. Parents are obviously the reason you are here. Whether that was a purposeful decision or a horrible mistake. Without them, you would be nothing. Your parents are your elders, they are your authority. Even if your parents are basket cases, you still must respect them. If you do not respect them, how will they respect you. You are your parents responsibility,

Normally and in my case, all my parents want is what is best for me. They never really tell me what to do, they just sort of expect me to be doing the right thing, and frequently I do. I think they know that sometimes you have to mess up and eventually you have to deal with it. That alone has taught me so much and makes me respect and value them more. I guess I just do not really get how people could disrespect anyone the really cared about and family is one of the most important things to me and something I need to keep close.

Day 19

How important you think education is

These are starting to get really like lame and adultlike I feel, if this is to trying to wean me from my spiritual hippie fantasyland that I live in back into the real world I am not going to let that happen.

Answering the question though, I think education is pretty important. I would mostlikely not be typing this without one. I think education right now is a bit skewed and more of a formality than anything else but it is still important. It is the reason you can get a job and make a better living and do what you want.
I am in college now at a four year University and to be ridiculously frank, most of the classes are bullshit. I think that GenEds are a waste of time, I think people that went to college as an undecided major are sort of wasting money. I feel like high school is where you should figure it out, you get a little bit of selection of your classes and you legally have to go so that is where everyone should be learning the'need to know' stuff. I think it is an absolute waste of time for me to be taking the weather class that I am in because I learned about that in 8th grade, and if it is not relevant to my future. YES I GET THAT IT IS WHATS HAPPENING AROUND ME, BUT SORRY NOT SORRY I DONT GIVE A ----. I have so many other things that in school I have to memorize and shove into my brain that what the quadratic equation for the distance of mars is not on my radar.
This all being said, education is so important. Why Sav, with how much you seem to not dig school, do you think it is important? Because of the piece of paper I get at the end. Plus in my major classes I have learned so much. I can spout out codes and design types like it is nobodies business, and THAT WILL HELP ME IN MY CAREER. Not whether I can write a good paper about Anne whoevers bastard (which I cannot, trust me I had to try once).

Day 17

Your views on mainstream music

I don't have anything against mainstream music. Actually I don't even really think I know what classifies as mainstream music in most cases. Pop? (I only assume because pop-ular- but who knows) Not too shabby in my opinion, normally its what you hear on the radio and its usually annoyingly catchy, but frequently you'll catch me jamming out to some Pop in a car ride or with some good buddies because its something everyone knows the words too.

Mainstream is a term that usually refers to the common current of thought of the majority, meaning that "mainstream" things are those that are currently popular with most people. It is most often applied in the arts (i.e., music, literature, and performance).

I got a little curious so I looked up what exactly mainstream was and this is what  I came up with. I think I properly addressed that so good job to me. Mainstream or not if it is good music its good music, I mean had to become popular somehow right?

Day 16

Your highs and lows in the past year

It is only February so I am going to just do a 12 month thinking about highs and lows. I feel like every year I live the higher and the lower everything gets.


It just sucks so hard when people that you care about don't care about you back. It sucks that people can pretend and lie and disappear so easy. It sucks that you can go from hanging out 24/7 and sleeping over more than 3 times a week or all weekend to nothing. To no replies and ignoring snapchat stories to be petty. Social cues and rules suck and I hate them. I have no idea how to deal with them or  My lows since last February were all because of people that did not treat me right. I try and try to make things positive and keep a good life and have a good time but some people are just toxic and bring out the absolute worse in me. When I think about my lowest points I want to think it was when I got involved with drugs or when I would go to work hungover, or even the times of two night stands and friends with benefits. Most of those things though I chose, I accepted those lows to get a few highs (sometimes literally). While throwing up in the bathroom at your internship every Friday morning for two months is probably the lowest some people could get, I don't regret it. I played it off like nothing was wrong, and I deserved every single headache I got.

All those lows reached leaves plenty of room to go up. I had the craziest summer yet (I'll say the same thing next summer too most likely) I had a friend with all the benefits and we were inseparable, I lived with my bestfriend and I didn't have a rule in the world to follow. I tried new things which led to great experiences and made me feel genuinely good, but now I think it is effecting me somewhat negatively. But they were definitely some of the best times of my lives, waking up next to someone you care about, falling asleep while watching him playing video games with his friends. Having people over and meeting new people. Being invited all the time. Getting the M feels and making up with someone who probably hates you. Feeling like everything is going to be alright. Not stressing even though you have 12 credit hours of classes and still work 28 hours a week. Warped Tour is always a high, starved rock with people who care about you, spending the holidays with my family.
These past few weeks I have been feeling so up and down every day that sometimes you need to just step back and see your highs and lows and how everything can be.

Day 15

Describe your dream day spent completely ALONE

So fitting due to how down I have been feeling and how much I need a day completely alone that I may try to grab this weekend when my roommate leaves

I like to be by myself, not worry about what other people want to do not have to wait around. How I would do my day to myself is I would begin with pop punk music blasted and singing/screaming around in my apartment alone. (I actually got to spend some time in my apartment alone and I got to do some of this so I know how perfect it is) I would take a nice shower, do my hair, get cute for me and put on leggings a band tee or tie dye shirt and maybe a hoodie along with my converse. Music still blasting but now in headphones I would take a nice ass walk in the beautiful weather that is hopefully happening. Honestly at that point I would be way too in my head and in my feels so I head home to fill my soul with art. My room is perfect and with my bed made, my salt lamp on, christmas lights on, and candles burning I get all my supplies and spend way to long jamming to hippie shit and being so inspired. Inspiration causes hunger so for my only human interaction of the day I would get a whole pizza delivered to my house, and hopefully I have a coupon to pay for the whole thing. I would eat it all day. I would also watch perks and just embrace my favorite movie. Ill try and take a cute selfie for instagram, but I look like a hobo so its pointless.  Once it gets pretty late I will smoke the good stuff and do yoga till I turn on my dreamy vibes playlist, and sleep it all off. This entire day alone I would like to spend completely away from my phone no family, no friends, no nonfreinds, nothing, keep it completely alone. The only words I should say to someone is thanks for the pizza.

Damn do I hope my Saturday is like this,

Day 14

Your earliest memory

My earliest memory is just sort of a tiny flash that I assume is a memory. I am very disappointed that I don't get to remember everything from way back when, because I'm sure it was a great time and I know that for my parents it had to have been an important time. I just really don't want to forget everything that I am up to right now, except that things I purposely try and forget.

But the earliest memory I can think of is being in our house in Sugar Grove  and I remember me and Samantha sitting on the floor and I think the parents were cleaning the fridge and the rest of the kitchen so that we could move away.

That's all I have but that is the earliest my brain goes.

Day 13

Somewhere you would like to move or visit

I have been asked a many times where I want to go when I graduate and am constantly told that the world is mine and I can go anywhere. The thing is, right now I don't have anywhere I am in dire need of being, I am having a good time where I am right now and while I know I will leave I know I need to go home after this for a little bit so why would I make up some elaborate scheme to leave when I am comfortable where I am. I think that it is not where you are or where you move to that makes a difference, I think it is the people you know or meet while you are there.

Places I would like to visit are endless, I will go virtually anywhere, this last semester I am trying to get trips in everywhere possible. I think I need to start making a bucket list just for places. I would like to visit all the places called Savannah and even a Savanna, I think that would be very cool. But I want to get a map mark off all the places I have been. (yup cliche I know and do not care in the slightest bit)

Day 12

Bullet Point your whole day

• 7:36-7:47 Woke up and hit snooze
• Wondered why I have 300 seconds worth of snapchats
• Got ready for the day (hair, makeup, chocolate cereal)
• 8:32-8:59 Walked from the Oaks to Turner hall for Studio
• 9:00-11:41 Studio (multitasking)
• Went to Linkins for lunch
• Graded some papers there
• 12:35-1:50 Went to FCS 208
• Book it across campus to get to work
• 2-4:30 Work on NSB 101A at work
• Meet KK back at Turner
• Stop at home to change clothes
• Got to Tri for Dinner
• Run into all her men 
• Go back to the oaks
• Gym
• Shower
• Read
• KK hang
• sleep

Sorry it was a Tuesday and I needed a lame day because Wednesday and this weekend I will destroy

Day 11

Put you IPOD (Phone) on shuffle and write the first 10 songs that play (pandora radio)

1. In Your Crosshairs - Knuckle Puck
2. I Wanted So Badly To Be Brave - The Wonder Years
3.Looking Back - Real Friends
4. Remedy - State Champs
5. Four Years - The Story So Far
6. December - Neck Deep
7. Come & Go - Broadside
8. World Favorite - Man Overboard
9. Kids in Love - Mayday Parade
10. Downfall Of Us All - A Day to Remember

Day 10

What kind of person attracts you

I actually moved this one up because I have been really thinking hard about this one lately.

Requirements:
Not nasty teeth
At least 5'7"

Bonus Points:
Can ride a skateboard +7
Flatbottomed shoes +3
Tattoos +2
Nice Facial Hairs +2-4 depending how nice
Smells Delicious +3


Loses Points:
Dad Jeans: -6
Country -all of the points
Hats -? ALWAYS BEWARE

Day 09

Discuss your first love and first kiss

My first love and first kiss were two completely different people, which I think is beyond acceptable. To keep in chronological I will start with the first kiss. From an outside perspective it was completely perfect. In my world, it was nothing special. To make myself sound really old, it honestly feels like a different life. There were times where all the kids would roam around town with friends, significant others, family, anyone. This was one of those times, just roaming with friends in the dark, kids thinking they own the street, thinking they could flirt with each other. It was summer and it was a rainy day, but not yet raining, just a nice mist. Near the fourth of July people would shoot off fireworks for weeks and this night was no exception. Strolling down a backroad in the mist while off in the next town over fireworks shot off in the background. And there it was, first kiss, something the sims makes seem like it is the biggest most important thing in the world. Nothing, there were no internal fireworks, no floating into the air in a spin of glitter, the sims lied. With that it made me less nervous about everything, we are all just regular people and it is all just regular stuff, no need to be worried.

Onto the first love. I am very picky about the word love because to me it a serious thing. I feel if you love someone, no matter what you do, deep down somewhere in you, you don't get to stop loving them. Although I think love is naive and blind I can only say that because I have felt it before. My first love was someone I was completely comfortable around, someone I could fight with, someone who I considered to be my best friend. He was someone that constantly pissed me off and made me smile at the same time. He was someone that I could be talking to 24 hours of the day and still have things to talk to him about. He was someone that I stayed up all night texting, someone I was happy to wake up to next to. He was someone I trusted. To love someone is to want to be with them.
Remember how I had said that you will always love someone if you loved them once? With that I mean that I loved him then, the person I was then loved the person he was then and there is not anything in the entire world that can change that. The new me and the new him are completely different but the love is still with the people we were.

Day 08

A moment you felt satisfied with your life

There are a few different situations where I feel satisfied with my life. Every single time I do relaxing yoga with my salt lamp on in my room I get this feeling of calmness and happiness that I wish I could feel every single day.

Sometimes moments are shattered though, even though the were so good in that moment looking back things quickly took a turn for the worst. These I have a bit more of. One that particularly comes to my mind is the night of the last blood moon. I love to watch the stars and the moon and all the intergalactic things I have no idea about. I went and found the perfect spot to watch it, I still go there to watch stars sometimes. I had a friend of mine meet me there to watch it with me. The moon was so slow to change but they stayed and watched the whole thing with me. It was one of the very few times we actually had a good sober hangout and one of the few times someone that was not related to me actually went with me to do something I enjoyed. Any time someone watches stars with me it makes me beyond happy and not want to ever leave. Complete satisfaction because you can temporarily forget about all the unsatisfactory part of life you get to deal with after.

There is a difference between satisfied, happy and content though. And also a difference between being satisfied with a moment and with life. I am currently not 100% satisfied with my life, I have been feeling pretty unbalanced the past few years of college. I think that is because I am still trying to figure out my next plan while also trying to live the moment. I think I have been making alot of bad decisions and once I make it to graduation and make a few changes I will be satisfied with life after I become a decent amount more stable.

Day 07

Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality

I am a Virgo and I completely feel it fits my personality. I read virtually everything on the internet that has to do with signs and I even have a tattoo with my family and my own zodiac signs on it. If you peep my pinterest board you will understand the dedication.

Strengths: Loyal, analytical, kind, hardworking, practical

Weaknesses: Shyness, worry, overly critical of self and others, all work and no play

Virgo likes: Animals, healthy food, books, nature, cleanliness

Virgo dislikes: Rudeness, asking for help, taking center stage

I think I am very loyal until someone screws me over, I will do almost anything for the people I actually care about. Analytical, I completely analyze every situation for the best possible outcome. Kind, I am accidentally kind, I like to think I am this awful evil person with no feelings, but when someone is down I will do anything to make them feel better (If I care about that person). Hardworking and practical, I know what needs to be done when and I will get it done.

Shyness, yeah when I am around new people I have to work pretty hard to be social, I may have a bit of social anxiety sometimes. I worry about everything and have to talk myself down from alot but it is all pretty much internally handled. Critical is a weakness due to not being able to get anything finished if it sucks but is similar to analytical. I have been working on getting my play in recently.

I actually do not like animals much, but Tom grew on my so we will see where life takes me. I also hate the idea of healthy food, so thats weird that its on the list. Books though I really dig, check out the goodreads account I have. Nature is ridiculously cool as well as when things are clean.

I hate rude people and find it hard to be rude to people. I despise asking for help so makes total sense. As much as I like to be involved I do not nee to be center stage I get so much anxiety that people will make fun of me or I will mess up.

Day 06

Write 30 interesting facts about yourself

1. I feel pop punk music so hard
2. I like to convince people I got bit by a shark (it frequently works)
3. I adore busy schedules and stress
4. I know a ridiculous amount of random facts about houses/buildings (especially buildings on campus)
5. I am only occasionally good at art
6. I am obsessed with learning about stars and dreams
7. I actually enjoy my family
8. One time my hair was blue and I would do it again
9. I despise the idea of healthy food
10. If someone compliments or ask about my tattoos or piercings they automatically have friend potential
11. My favorite thing to smell like is warm vanilla sugar
12. I hate cinnamon even the smell
13. I don't really enjoy animals except rare occasions
14. I can pop my shoulder around
15. I like sketchy things with character
16. I have crashed a car into a bridge
17. I have issues with 4 letter boy names
18. I only listen to punk-like Christmas music and still only like 3 days before
19. I do not drink soda at all
20. I am in possession of a batman onesie
21. I can make a wicked cool noise with my hand
22. I frequently have weird lingo and nobody knows where I get it
23. I am vastly musically educated (not like I can play something but know all genres)
24. My bedroom is pretty much a sanctuary
25. I have a website and it is beyond awesome
26. I want to take a sledgehammer to a kitchen (thanks to my career path I will hopefully get to)
27. It took me until like 4th grade to learn to ride a bike, and I crashed into a car while learning
28. Once fell off a bunk bed and got stuck in a folding chair
29. I like to hang with people and not talk sometimes
30. I make things look perfect on the outside but more often than not my life is in complete shambles 

Day 05

How do you feel about being alone

I am extremely unsure. There are two kinds of alone for me, emotionally or physically. I like to be physically alone but not emotionally alone.
I like being by myself and it is super beneficial for me (being a Virgo and an INTJ) because being alone helps me collect myself and stay the person I want to be. I highly enjoy hanging with myself in my room reading, or drawing listening to music, or even doing yoga and just being at peace. When doing hard work as well I do not mind at all being alone, otherwise I would not be able to get anything done whatsoever.
As for being mentally/emotionally alone that is something that freaks me out to the ultimate extreme. I assume most people are like that though because why would you want nobody to be there for you? I guess I just like to have a few close friends and close family members to know that I have their back and they have mine. I have gone through periods where I have not really had anyone close and I do not particularly enjoy that and wish to avoid being at that point again.

Day 04

Your views on religion

I respect religion, but I am not religious. I know a thing or two about religion and know people who are die hard, people who go once a year, and people who greatly oppose religion. I have actually put a lot of thought into what I believe and why, and what I came up with is a little lackluster. I think if there is some God somewhere (whether it be God, Buddah, Posiden, whoever) then life is just some creepy game of sims and that sort of freaks me out. Either way I don't really think it is necessary for when something goes wrong in life to pray to fix it, I think you should be proactive to fixing it yourself. Another thing about religion is that people use it to fight or prove they are better than each other and that sort of disgusts me, it is supposed to be this sacred thing so I think people need to respect that and let the people that truly believe do what they need to do.
As for the religious heaven and hell, I do not really believe in that, I think I am a bit more of a science person with thinking when we die our consciousness just leaves. Granted I highly think reincarnation could be a thing but I am very unsure if that is a religious aspect or not.

Day 03

Your view on drugs and alcohol

Drugs, I know tend to be a very controversial subject, but in my opinion they are great. There are so many uses for them. First of all sometimes they save peoples' lives there are so many medical drugs that are do so much good and we are always striving to make more.Without little things like ibuprofen I am sure my head would have burst by now, all it does it take some of the pain from a blaring migraine so that hopefully my brain will then allow me to sleep it off. That is just the beginning to the medicinal uses of drugs and a very minor one at that.
As for recreational uses, I also see nothing wrong with it as long as it is not something that is abused. I think that drugs can make you feel such different things and see things in such a different light that it is almost like connecting with another part of yourself and people that haven't tried are completely missing out. And for some people it is just a stress release, it is a way to take the edge off so you can have a good time in a situation that usually you may not be entirely comfortable with. Some people really strive on that every day hit of weed to get them through, to calm them down, and I think that is perfectly fine. I mean WHO ARE THEY HURTING. Nobody, and most of the time they arent even hurting themselves either. That being said I completely respect and understand other peoples decisions to not be a part of the drug culture. I also understand that sometime there are drug related crimes that portray a very bad image. For example driving under the influence, or drug deals gone wrong. If there were less strict rules on drugs I really think those drug deals gone wrong would be nonexistant because they could get their drugs from a safe place versus some sketchy dealer a cousins friends sisters ex boyfriend knew from jail. I think drugs are something that need to be taken complete care of and I KNOW that drugs can easily lead down a bad path are extremely easy to get addicted to. In my opinion though, you can't knock it until you try it and usually once you do you will understand.

Alcohol I also think works wonders. I think that the alcohol drinking age should be 18 and that police should worry about keeping people safe versus busting up the underage, but there can only be so much done in that case. I have a love hate relationship with alcohol, on one hand it can make someone the ballsiest person on the planet and they can get whatever they want. On the other hand, if it is abused it can lead to some very troubling outcomes. Another thing I think is that if you are going to drink you should drink to get ballsy and fun, versus just taking one drink and calling it quits. That could be the effects of 'liquid courage' though. I was never really much of a drinker until college and still with that I would much prefer drugs over alcohol. Alcohol does this awful thing of making you puke and feel like absolute destruction if you are not smart enough to take care of yourself before sleeping and I think that is a real damper on that.

Master List

01-Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is
02-Where you would like to be in 10 years
03-Your view on drugs and alcohol
04-Your views on religion
05-A time you thought about ending your own life----no try something else
06-Write 30 interesting facts about yourself
07-Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality
08-A moment you felt most satisfied with your life
09-Discuss your first love and first kiss
10-What kind of person attracts you
11-Put you IPOD (Phone) on shuffle and write the first 10 songs that play
12-Bullet Point your whole day
13-Somewhere you would like to move or visit
14-Your earliest memory
15-Describe your dream day spent completely ALONE
16-your highs and lows in the past year
17-Your views on mainstream music
18-Disrespecting your parents
19-How important you think education is
20-Your beliefs
21-One of your favorite shows
22-Give pictures of 5 famous people you find attractive
23-How have you changed in the past 2 years
24-Your favorite movie and what it's about
25-Someone who fascinates you and why
26- Something that you are trying to figure out or don't yet understand
27- How can you make yourself better
28-A problem that you have had
29-Something that you miss
30-Goals for the next 30 days
31- Your highs and lows of this month.




I keep missing days, or do too many at once, plus I keep switching the questions, but who cares. I make my own rules, right.

Day 02

Where you would like to see yourself in 10 years

In 10 years from now I will be 30 years old. By then I will definitely be married and probably have a kid or two. That sounds absolutely wild seeing as how close that means everything is. Also seems wild seeing where it is I am at right now. I never really thought I would have kids or anything like that but I think the idea is growing on me as I get older. In 10 years, I really would like to be happy in my career. I do not really mind where it is I will be, as long as I like it and am comfortable and stable.
I always had a path drawn out on what I was going to do and where I was going to be but that path is quickly coming to its end with the graduating of college. I am pretty surprised I have made it this far to begin with. With that all being said I am pretty confident about myself in 10 years from now and I really think it will be a good stable interesting time in my life. I feel I can gracefully handle most situations that can possibly be thrown at me within the near future.

Day 01

Your Current Relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

My current relationship is with myself, we are working very hard to keep things running smoothly. You would think after 20 years of being together we would have worked out all of our problems, but that has proven to be quite difficult. There is something I have been told in the past that has really stuck with me and that is that "you cant be you and him until you know who you are". Where I am in life is completely finding myself and deciding who it is I want to be for the rest of the time, Before I would go through short chapters of life, whether semesterly, by school year, what school attending, but there was always forced change. After this last change it gets to the point where everything is up to me. Now is where I get to come to terms with my relationship with myself and stop burning the bridges of my relationships with everyone else.

In all seriousness though, single life has its ups and downs, it really does. I have learned that being single is alot better for my friendships. I am a very busy person so usually I do not have a large amount of free time to split among people. When I am single, I can hang out with my bestfriend whenever I am free, no boys to steal up all my time. That is the upside of single, with a few accompanying factors of getting to go out with no rules and not having to stress about what he is doing or what he wants/needs. Single is quite a bit more stress free than being in a relationship. The downsides though are I feel like I am wasting my time being without the person I am going to be with forever and I feel very foolish "looking" for that person. Another downside is the mild wanting to like someone and do cute things with them, plus trying to deal with showing I am over past relationships I really know a relationship is not something to be forced and is not something that will come easy for me at this point in my life so I am going to power through and really focus on my relationship with myself and who I am planning on becoming.