Day 16

Your highs and lows in the past year

It is only February so I am going to just do a 12 month thinking about highs and lows. I feel like every year I live the higher and the lower everything gets.


It just sucks so hard when people that you care about don't care about you back. It sucks that people can pretend and lie and disappear so easy. It sucks that you can go from hanging out 24/7 and sleeping over more than 3 times a week or all weekend to nothing. To no replies and ignoring snapchat stories to be petty. Social cues and rules suck and I hate them. I have no idea how to deal with them or  My lows since last February were all because of people that did not treat me right. I try and try to make things positive and keep a good life and have a good time but some people are just toxic and bring out the absolute worse in me. When I think about my lowest points I want to think it was when I got involved with drugs or when I would go to work hungover, or even the times of two night stands and friends with benefits. Most of those things though I chose, I accepted those lows to get a few highs (sometimes literally). While throwing up in the bathroom at your internship every Friday morning for two months is probably the lowest some people could get, I don't regret it. I played it off like nothing was wrong, and I deserved every single headache I got.

All those lows reached leaves plenty of room to go up. I had the craziest summer yet (I'll say the same thing next summer too most likely) I had a friend with all the benefits and we were inseparable, I lived with my bestfriend and I didn't have a rule in the world to follow. I tried new things which led to great experiences and made me feel genuinely good, but now I think it is effecting me somewhat negatively. But they were definitely some of the best times of my lives, waking up next to someone you care about, falling asleep while watching him playing video games with his friends. Having people over and meeting new people. Being invited all the time. Getting the M feels and making up with someone who probably hates you. Feeling like everything is going to be alright. Not stressing even though you have 12 credit hours of classes and still work 28 hours a week. Warped Tour is always a high, starved rock with people who care about you, spending the holidays with my family.
These past few weeks I have been feeling so up and down every day that sometimes you need to just step back and see your highs and lows and how everything can be.